While I hated leaving Emma at the NICU each night to go home to take care of my dogs and sleep, it was a weight lifted off my shoulders knowing that the Nurses caring for her in my absence were the best people I could hope for. They had years of experience I didn't, knowledge about how to respond to her that I would learn, and a medical team to help if any emergency arose. She was in the safest place for her until she was strong enough to come home with me. I asked countless questions and did my best to be a sponge and soak up as much of the knowledge they shared that I could. Every day I was there with my daughter, I was learning from the best teachers how to care for my baby girl.
During one of the most emotional times in my entire life, when I found myself scared, excited, and unsure all at the same time, I was inspired by the strength, courage, and amazing hearts the Nurses had every day for every child they cared for. Like the mother that wrote the post, I too saw babies that didn't leave the NICU to go home with their families. I saw the pain the Nurses felt when there was one less bed in the pod then the last time I was there. Since Emma was in the first bed of the critical pod at the front of the NICU, I saw it more times than I care to remember. But, I also saw the joy they had when one of their babies was discharged and able to go home with their family. You could see on their faces how much that motivated them to keep going.
When the day came that Emma was to be discharged, I was nervous because she was going to lose her medical team that could handle any issue that arose without hesitation or uncertainty. I was going to have to pick up where they left off with only about a month of experience and without a team on standby in the next room. But during her last twenty-four hours in the NICU, I stayed with her the entire time and she was able to do something she had yet to achieve before then - she drank all of her thickened breast milk by bottle without having to be tube fed any of it. She showed me she was strong enough, with the support I gave her, to come home and start living her life with me. I believe it was her strength coupled with the support of her Nurses that made us such a great team. Without both, the doubt I had that we could duplicate such a feat every day moving forward would not have instantly melted away when I walked her into her home for the first time and told her she made it.
So I want to say a special thank you to the NICU Nurses at Medical City Children's - you have touched my heart in a way unlike any other before you. You gave me hope to overcome my uncertainty. You gave me courage to overcome my fears. You gave me skills to overcome my insecurities. But most of all, you gave me the time to heal and the confidence to be a better mother than I thought I could be. Emma and I are both better off because of you.